1) The guys have to be single, never married.I was 23. It should NOT have been that hard to meet men that met all 3 requirements. Well, it WAS. Most guys up here violate 1 and 3, and 2 seemed to be a problem for me. So I did finally meet someone that fulfilled all three rules… Bily.
2) They can't be someone I work with.
3) No children.
1st Encounter: I was working at a steakhouse. Bily comes in for dinner with his parents. I take note of the cute boy, but I was slammed and he was with his parents. Oh well. I leave that job and head directly to my second job- bartender in town. I bolt to the back to change, run out because I’m late, run up to the first customer, “What can I get you?” I look up, it’s him. As the bar starts to slow down, we chat. He seems nice, another-bartender (and a friend of mine) knows him and approves, I give him my number- even my real one!
2nd Encounter: We go out with friends to a bonfire, turns out he’s cousin with a friend of mine. Not sure I like that idea, but ok, we'll roll with it. Nice enough bonfire, kinda awkward at times, but we seem into the same things. While I don't work with him, he's a regular at BOTH my places of employment. This is an almost-violation of Rule 2. So this is a strike 1, but decide to roll with it. (But the violation is noted.)
3rd Encounter: We set up a date for dinner. I spend the day on the river with friends, saying I’m not sure I want to go out that night. They convince me I must and I’m only backing out because of the recent break-up. Okay, fine. Bily's supposed to call after he gets out of work. I decide to wait until then to change for the date. He texts, an hour after he’s supposed to CALL, “just got out of work, stopping at the mall, call you when I’m done.” At 11pm, after I haven't heard from him, I do the stupid thing of calling him to make sure he wasn't in an accident or something (because then I'd feel REALLY bad for being mad that he hadn't called). He answers nanchaluntly: "Want to get a drink?" Umm... Nooooooooo. Yeah. Strike 2. Big time.
Mezzanine Encounters: After being stood up by the one doing the pursuing, I didn't really make much of an effort to make contact. There were a few conversonations, he'd show up at the bar. He'd say he was sorry - he didn't know why he did that. He knew it was mean, he feels bad, blah blah blah. So I give him another chance (much against my friend's advise).
(Almost) 4th Encounter: I text him one night because I was getting out of work really early and was going to the beach to watch the sunset- something I never get to do in the summer with my jobs. I asked him if he’d like to join: “Nah, not much of a beach person. But call me when you’re back.” Again. Nahhhh… I don’t care if you’re not a beach person. It’s sunset! We’re not going swimming, you can wear your jeans. I’m in my work uniform! (Not that I actually said any of this.) Hardcore STRIKE 3! At the beach I decide this isn't going to ever work so I call him to let him down easy. Which is when he went off for twenty minutes about how he's changed and grown (in the three weeks we've hung out? We've never even been on a date!) and that he made a mistake and he's sorry and I menat a lot to him and... That he loved me. I sat there on the beach with my mouth totally agape. "Bily. Are you drunk?" Unfortuantely, he wasn't.
5th Encounter: That’s right. There’s more. I went into the bar I work at one night to see some girlfriends that were there. We’re sitting chatting and Bily comes in. When I go to get my next drink, I stop to say hi, we exchange nice-ities. It’s been a while. He comes and sits next to me at one point when my friends use the restroom. One friend returns so I go back to talking with her. He gets upset that I’m not paying attention to him. He's drunk now. He sits at another table. He calls me over and asks what all the “mixed signals” are about. I point out that I just trying to be friendly, that I’m still not looking for a relationship, and that I don’t think we’d work out. He turns away from the table and mutters (but I still hear him), “Well, fuck you.” Nice. Do we even count strikes after #3? (This would be Strike 4.)
Bily would continue to show up at my bar and text me periodically. He still asks me out. How many times does he need to hear "no"? To make matters worse: I'm applying for a job with his mom. Fun.
Lesson: Screw three strikes your out. Kick ‘em out ASAP or they’ll be around for ever. And maybe even screw those rules. If they’re still single or haven’t reproduced (at least in Michigan) by this age, they seem to all be…nuts. Or better yet- maybe it’s time for me to move!
~Lory
